Sermon for the 4th Sunday after Trinity

Sunday 19th June 2005

Preached by Rev Paul Hewitt

When I was coming out of the Church hall, some time ago, the girl who runs our Keep Fit Club, Diane, (Not Diana!) drove up to the door. “Oh,” I said, “I didn’t realise who that was”. “Perhaps you didn’t recognise my new car”, she said. My brain mechanism started cranking slowly into gear, as it usually does, and I started to put ‘Diane’ and ‘Car’ together, and I said, “Didn’t you have a horrible car accident a while ago?” “Oh, yes,” she said, “That was five years ago!”…Five years ago!! I couldn’t believe it!

Our clocks deceive us into thinking that time just goes round and round, whereas the truth is that it goes in a straight line, relentlessly. “Time and tide wait for no man”.

Here’s a poignant thought for Father’s Day, today. There is Amy down there, two years old this very day. Happy Birthday! Consider her eighteen years of childhood. And imagine for a moment that an egg timer contained not sand, but days. When your child was born the timer had in it 6,570 days. By the time she is ten years old, 3,650 days have already gone. You have 2,920 left. Nothing you can do, no amount of money or power or prestige can increase that number.

There is no doubt that the time we spend with our children in the early years is vital. But the good news is that whatever age, whether they are three, or thirty-three, we can make a difference in their lives. There is many a man who has discovered a relationship with his father years after leaving home. But even at that stage of life the same two ingredients as when are children were small are needed, and we have mentioned them many times before, this is nothing new, but they are: time, and the courage to seize the day.

I’ve been struggling over today’s talk to you. I was a little perplexed to say the least at what might be considered a rather unfortunate reading for Father’s Day. A reading that talks of division in the family rather than unity. That the ‘great cause’ comes second to nothing else. And there is no doubt that the great cause of Christianity has divided Father from Son, Mother from Daughter, and that a person’s greatest enemies can be from their own household. However true that is, and I have seen it happen, I cannot believe for a moment that that is what God wishes.

It is true that we are called to love God beyond everything else, and you then reply, but what about my wife or my husband or my children, and the answer is, you make a better husband or wife or parent, if God comes first.
I know this is true. Because at the end of the day, it is all about relationships. How can we believe in a God who wants to bring division, when he knows and loves you so well that the very hairs of you head are numbered! (Easier to count on some people than others!) It’s about people, rich, poor, black, white, that is what one of three black priests (out of a total of 270) in York Diocese has just said, as they welcome the first black Archbishop of York, second only in rank to Canterbury. I think it’s great. It’s about people.

And time and time again, the relationship between God and his people is likened to that of a parent and child. What relationships need more than anything else is what we’ve just said, time, and the realisation that every day is a special day.

I remember when we came home from London, many moons ago, and Dad was being Instituted as Rector of Abbeyleix in County Laois. (It has a famous pub in it called Morrissey’s). Just before the service started the lights went out. Some sort of power cut. They were able to rustle up some candles and torches, and we all just about managed. It was an occasion that the Bishop referred to at dad’s funeral, because he was the Diocesan Registrar at the time. But a week later, the Sexton opened a draw in the Vestry, and inside were a host of brand new candles. He said to Dad, “I would only use these on special occasions”. A so-called ‘Special Occasion’ had been and gone, and the Sexton didn’t even recognise it. Does that happen to us in our relationships? Especially those with our children? Do special occasions come and go and we don’t even recognise them?

When it comes to relationships, every day is a special day.

You know in an average life, we spend six months waiting for traffic lights to change, twenty-three years asleep and two years looking for things. The big worry is that by the time we’ve had a nap, looked for your favourite tie, and waited for a green light there’ll not be much time to do much else. Time is a precious commodity. I often think ‘busyness’ is a state of mind. When we don’t give time to relationships, they die. Relationships in families, and not least our relationship with God.

Since the days of all our Alpha Couses, and all the post-alpha courses that we have held over the years, we have had a rather quiet time of it! Some of you have heard me say how much I would love to start a fairly new Alpha initiative and that is “The Marriage Course”. It is hosted by Nicky and Sila Lee from Holy Trinity, Brompton. It is designed for people who are married, and you work through the course as a couple. So you’re not sharing intimate secrets with a group of strangers. With all the wonderful weddings we have had over recent times, and in not so recent times, I think this may have great potential. We have a host of young married couples in the parish. If you might be interested, perhaps you might like to let me know.

Remember, time is not standing still, and we need to take time to make relationships work.